This image by Michelle Chen demonstrates some times at which we should try and be kind to ourselves:
When you’ve made a mistake
When you aren’t being productive
When things don’t turn out the way you’ve wanted them to
When you keep falling into the same patterns
when everything else seems to fall apart
But why is it such a challenge to be kind to ourselves and how do we go about changing our mindset to allow this to happen?
Ellis Edmunds says: “We may believe that kindness = weakness, and that there is no time to be kind. Often, when we are in survival mode, slowing down to be kind to ourselves just doesn’t make sense”.
Being kind to ourselves can also signal that we are putting ourselves first and therefore we are not supporting others or helping them through troubled times.
Kate Graham says: “Learning to care and nurture ourselves, to have compassion for ourselves is one of the key journeys in psychotherapy. So often, we damage ourselves by our reaction to what we are feeling, rather than by the feeling itself. When we can feel compassion for ourselves, be kind to ourselves, we just have to cope with the emotion that is being felt, which is easier”.
Cognitive behaviour therapist Bianca Clarke has written How to be kind to yourself - 10 top tips for Bupa which suggests that the following actions will help improve our mental health and well-being:
Talking kindly to yourself
Practicing gratitude
Performing acts of kindness to others
Reflect daily
Focus on self-care
Be responsible for your well-being
Invest in your interests
Practice mindfulness
Spend time in nature
Think about opportunities
There's also a great video where members of the public share how they show themselves kindness every day. Some actions could make a real difference to the way we feel about ourselves. Help to build our resilience, cope with stress and find more happiness in our lives.
Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves by Ellis Edmunds: https://www.ilkleypsychotherapy.co.uk/why-is-it-so-hard-to-be-kind-to-yourself
Bianca Clarkes Top tips on how to be kind to yourself https://www.bupa.co.uk/newsroom/ourviews/be-kind-to-yourself
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