The surprise, the challenge, the dream — shame it only lasted for one day. All included in a morning of trepidation and concern. It ends in hopeful contemplation — dreaming of future happiness and success.
A few happy hours were spent with my carer. Only entering three different buildings — four if you include re-entry. Knowing that there would be some regret without the return visit was another step even if it was a bit of a push both mentally and physically.
Sometimes the desire to be out rather than at home overtakes. A rarity until recent times. The excitement of being away from the basics and repetition of pacing and daily tasks. Challenging to contemplate and motivation is increasingly hard to find.
Escape days are needed and they need to be away from the ‘home’ of the repetition to have the desired and required effect on body and mind. Better health and different emotions. What might be waiting for me if I can find the right combination of treatment, rest, resilience and sleep management?
However, it is worth noting the stark reality of the situation — 12 years ago an Ipswich extravaganza would have looked very different. A Saturday was normal — into town for some lunch at our favourite coffee house. Some shopping, a walk back to the car park near to the football stadium. Taking in the ITFC match in all weathers.
I was sitting outdoors in the fresh air watching and socialising. The noise, the people, the sounds and the smells. The interaction: my ‘surrogate grandad’ Gerald, who always brought me chocolate to eat at half-time! The excitement, frustration at losses and elation at scored goals.
The celebration and the disappointments — were taken away by the cruelty of a pituitary adenoma that decided to bleed into my brain without my knowledge. Apparently, the medical profession didn’t notice either. Deteriorating health meant my lifestyle had to change. Increasing evening games didn’t help when fatigue set in. The cold in my joints causing pain. Unable to maintain the pace.
This is the change I have been dealt — at least I had that chance. Maybe one day it will come again. Experiences and memories are special. Now I connect differently. Have found a new path. For that I am grateful and move forward, The radio, social media and TV. Even coffee club!
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