Coping at Christmas

The Fear Of Christmas….

Channel 5 have a lot of elements to their news programmes and regularly target stories that relate to mental health, physical health, learning disabilities and disability itself. They provide a platform for discussion about these topics in a fantastic way in that they are targeted into the actual news (especially if you watch the 5pm slot) and then follow up in more detail in a later news discussion programme. It’s a great channel for news, easy to understand and more accessible than the information that of other channels with the ‘big words’ and difficult to understand, sometimes confusing and misleading, particularly if you have brain fog or you have a learning disability.

Watching a news discussions about change at Christmas for those with Alzheimer’s on Channel 5 sparked a fearful memory of the difficulties I encountered with my psychosis last year. The change of routine, the additional people arriving, decorations making familiar places look like a very different setting. Then you add in the noise, discussions, music, lights and what you get is one hell of a battering that throws you completely. This year I will learn from last, although I tried to utilise many strategies last year it was an extremely stressful time.

It’s how to deal with it that’s the problem. Depending on people’s actual diagnosis they may need a bit more help and the help will need to come in different ways and even from a mix of people. Acclimatising in a home with decorations suddenly thrown up will make the room unfamiliar, so involving the person may help. Then there’s the opportunity to show photographs of the family and explain they will be going to visit them or that they will be coming to the person’s home.

On a personal level it’s about planning as much that can chunked and paced as possible, being fully aware of the diary and where and when things are happening. Allowing myself to remove myself from a room to a peaceful one when needed, sticking to medication times, trying to not plan days where the mental / physical balance is out of alignment. If you need extra medication to help you cope make sure you have it with you and use it when you need to. It’s not something I like to do as as you could argue that by having extra medication it masks the symptoms to your visitors. So then it’s time to explain again and hope they see they bigger picture. The obvious question would be; ‘why don’t you take it all the time then?’ To which my response would be: ‘If I take it everyday then my symptoms may be better but my body will adjust to that level and then I would need even more and it’s very strong and can cause contraindications which in turn will leave me in a situation where i could actually be worse. It’s much better taken from assessing situations and utilising it when there is no other option’. Your’s may be a different response but this is just an idea.

One great resource that I i used but not to it’s full potential were some cue cards from the Heads Together mental health charity that Prince William and Harry are the head of. One great tip is to think of topics for discussion. Take some time in advance to compose some questions that relate to things you know about them or things you wish to ask and don’t want to forget. This is something I want to explore better this year as it’s not an easy thing to do and failure means an uncomfortable silence could occur. It’s even harder though when you don’t see people very often as it becomes more difficult to ‘catch up’ and know whether or not things have changed since you saw or heard from them last. Plus add some things that you have done since then as they are the possible questions that could come back to you! So it would be helpful to have a few bullet points about what you have done or places you have been to.

It’s important to be honest about how you feel and why you may need to remove yourself to a ’safe’ and quiet place for a break. Remember the things that help you relax and either plan these in or have a box of colouring, a calming music playlist, fidget spinner, puzzle book and cue cards, or even some yoga,(In the Children’s corner log there is a section on having a ‘dazzle box’ which works equally as well for adults as it does for children) or simply head to the bathroom for a few minutes to compose yourself and feel back in control of your emotions and feelings.

The most important thing to remember is to make sure you do what is right for you and not for others. People will understand and if they don’t and you have explained your difficulties to them they are probably people to avoid in the future as you need your strength and determination to deal with your disability and trying to make people understand over and over is going to drain your energy reserves and leave you less able to apply your strategies and pacing, meaning you could be missing out on fun with people who do get you and leave you feeling happy!

So the key points are:

1. Plan and prepare as much as you can control

2. Be Kind to Yourself

3. Try to Enjoy yourself!

Good Luck and try to enjoy Christmas! Just remember to enjoy as much as you can by thinking one step ahead. It would be great to hear from you and how you survived the festivities…………….