The Key To Happiness? Part Three - Direction, Resilience, Emotions, Acceptance & Meaning.
This is for anyone that wants to make a positive change to their lives as we move forward into a new year filled with so much uncertainty.
Utilising Action For Happiness’ 10 Keys Programmes the new year begins or anytime you begin to read.Considering the places that you call home, work, social areas and, out in your local community
All explained through; Giving, Relating, Exercising, Awareness, Trying, Direction, Resilience, Emotions, Acceptance and Meaning.
This three Part Series breaks down the keys and, gives you some practical, easy to follow examples of how to improve your life and happiness, based on practical, simple ideas with a significant amount of research undermining the foundation of this programmes creation.
In Part One we explored The Action For Happiness Programme. We focused at the background of the programme, considered the approach and established the meaning behind each of the 10 Keys and the support available. You can access it here.
In Part Two we looked at the first five keys in more detail, how they might work in practical situations, based on real life scenarios and challenges faced. Utilising the Calendar resource from Action For Happiness we looked at simple but effective activities and strategies to employ and other organisations and support groups.You can access it here.
In Part Three we will focus on the remaining five Keys and again using real life scenarios, demonstrate how those with LTHC’s & disabilities can utilise these areas through challenging times*. We’ll conclude with the abundance of resources available from Action For Happiness and other organisations and support groups.
Direction
Being optimistic is a real challenge at times. Especially when you have a LTHC/Disability. The constant changes, lack of control over what your body does or doesn’t do are extremely challenging to address.
Scenario;
‘It’s really difficult to manage my health because of the different specialisms involved. I have been seen by a pain clinic but awaiting a referral to a team of people which could make so much difference. My current specialist has sent me lots of websites to look at but the amount is overwhelming and I am not sure where to begin’.
In this scenario, start by taking one website at a time. Read it carefully, jot down some notes and see if you feel it works for you. If so focus on that first. If you need support then move to the next and so on. Make sure to note some questions that relate to what you feel you need support with.
Action For Happiness
This October 2021 Calendar picks out some interesting things to think about, including finding three focus tasks for the week, realising you have a choice to choose what your priorities are and setting a goal which will give you perfect as you head into the next week, month or year.
You could also try;
Goals are great and can be really helpful here. These could be written, spoken or even displayed in pictorial fashion as vision boards. They can be set on your own or alongside your health professionals. Knowing what each step involves will help keep you motivated and knowing that your journey is realistic as well. This way expectations can also be harboured between yourself and the person(s) helping you. Clearly if you are strong enough to do this yourself then go for it! This article from Oprah Daily shows you How To Make A Vision Board, looks at its purpose and various different ways to represent what is important for you. Makes a great craft session as well!
Resilience
Living with LTHC’s/Disabilities is tough. It doesn’t matter whether you are mildly affected or seriously affected. Wherever you fit on the spectrum the tough days can really knock you down. Additional pressures can affect your health. Stress, disappointing appointments, medication problems, family issues, money worries and changes to routine can have more of an impact than you might think.
Scenario;
‘Christmas took my routine away. Seeing relatives, eating special food prepared with love, opening presents and other changes mean I’m struggling to get back on top of things. My routines are all over the place, I’m exhausted and frustrated. I was progressing so well with my physio but now I just can’t get through everything’.
It’s natural to feel this way. Emotional stress and pain can be caused by seeing family, especially if you are used to set eating times and having your medication at a certain time. Talking and moving in different ways will make you feel different. Starting back form the beginning feels outside of our comfort zones but think how much better you’ll feel in 3 months time and, what you will have learnt about your body.
Action For Happiness
Jump Back Up - July features some tips to get back into our routines and managing our health again. We are encouraged to shift our mood by doing something we enjoy, remember that struggles are normal, get the basics right first and take small steps to work through our problems.
You could also try;
Developing Resilience and Overcoming and Growing From Setbacks by Mind Tools is a detailed article that takes us back to Thomas Edison who created some of the most exciting inventions of the 20 Century and how many times he failed. Then what the world would be like if he hadn’t persevered. This is followed by the importance of resilience through Challenge, Commitment and personal control. This then leads into ten ways to build your own resilience. Areas include; learning to relax, practicing thought awareness, learning from our mistakes and choosing our responses.
Emotions
It’s really not surprising to see emotions on the list. Of course we navigate our way through the day experiencing many different emotions, the positive and the negative. The potential for negative to creep into our days is often highlighted on days when our bodies don’t allow us to do what we wish to or have planned.
Scenario;
‘Some days are frustrating. Something goes right and I feel great. Then something goes wrong and I slump again. I’m up and down all over the place. Then as the day nears the end all I can see are the negatives and not the good things’.
Action For Happiness
Something helpful for the above scenario could be to write down a list of things in your life that give you joy and keep adding to it each day. If you keep a log then ensure you write some positives in there as well as your health information as the day goes by. The Joyful June Calendar also encompasses and explores ideas for how to find some joy and happiness in your life even when things are hard and difficult to manage. A few examples are; taking a photograph of something that gives you joy and send it to someone, taking time to notice something that you think is beautiful and writing a letter of gratitude to someone.
You could also try;
6 Exercises for Positive Emotions: Start Your Upward Spiral Today, by Sarah Battey, BSc, Psychologist and posted by Positive Psychology shares techniques and exercises. These are journalling, Mindfulness, loving-kindness meditation, re-framing negative thoughts, creating positive experiences and good posture. Battey promotes these actions with the belief that living in a ‘positive spiral’ is achievable but also recognises you need to start small and take your time.
Acceptance
One of the key areas of having a LTHC/Disability is to compare ourselves to others with the same problems or to others who we would love to spend more time with. Body Work Columist Alex Light describes comparison as the ‘Thief of Joy’.(https://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty/health-and-fitness/2020011783329/how-to-stop-social-media-instagram-comparison/)
Scenario;
‘I see others with the same conditions as me looking happy and enjoying life through all the pictures they post on social media. I wonder why I cannot be the same person. It’s a horrible feeling’.
Action For Happiness
Self Care September encourages us to stick to the basics of eating well, exercising and going to bed on time. Allowing time for some self care and making it a priority rather than a chore.
You could also try;
Susan Biali Haas M.D. produced How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others back in 2018 for Psychology Today. She looks through how to ‘Break the habit of feeling insecure, envious, and discontented with your life’. (https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/prescriptions-life/201803/how-stop-comparing-yourself-others). This includes five segments starting with becoming aware of triggers, avoiding them and, finishing with using comparison as a tool for motivation to improve parts of your life that actually matter.
Meaning;
As we come through tough times we may begin to question what our lives will be like. ‘Meaning’ will be different for everyone. For some the focus will be on health, getting treatment or remembering strategies and pacing levels to enable us to meet our goals and become part of society again.
Scenario;
'Lockdown made life more simple. I didn’t have to face others, I didn’t have to go out anywhere apart for essentials. Now I feel terrified to go out. My psychosis has deteriorated. My strategies have gone unpracticed and I don’t know how to move forward and get myself to where I was prior to lockdown. I don’t know where I fit anymore or what ‘normal’ is’.
Action For Happiness
Meaningful May focuses on what we feel as things begin to get moving around COVID and what as individuals we feel are the important factors in our individual lives that had meaning, value and good well-being. These include selecting 3 things that make you hopeful about the future,
You could also try;
In this article by Volunteer Scotland they explore the fact that volunteering can be one of the most rewarding things that you can do. It can support you to gain confidence, build new skills, make a difference to others and meet people. There are so many opportunities out there and, many can even be done from home. A great place to begin is with a health charity. They are always after help and support and often have many roles to fill. The best part is that you work out how much you can do and when. Even signing up to change.org and signing a petition each week could give you some purpose to help promote something that you are passionate about.
That’s it, we have worked through all of the ten keys! Not everything in this series will apply to each individual, group or family. However, there could easily be some new year resolutions hiding within these keys that you could explore. You may have noticed that throughout this working on one section has an automatic connection with another. Hitting a number of keys in one hit could be positively mind changing for some. Have a go and let us know your thoughts. We are trying to learn as we go too!
*Please remember that these blogs are very real for us. We are on the same journey and it’s tough, slow and frustrating. Most of the Scenarios we face ourselves. Sometimes we find what we convey helpful but at other times we don’t. However, we include it because everyones journey is different and we like to have this passionate perseverance to help others as much as possible. To dispose of it all would be a waste and a dis-service to our readers.
All Important Links
Direction
Action For Happiness
How To Make a Vision Board
Acceptance
Hello Magazine - Why 2020 is the year we stop comparing ourselves to others on social media
Action For Happiness
Psychology Today - Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/prescriptions-life/201803/how-stop-comparing-yourself-others
Resilience
Action For Happiness
Mind Tools
Meaning
Action For Happiness
Volunteer Scotland - Benefits of Volunteering
Change - Petitions